She introduced a tangent to my thinking on intimacy and relationships: companionship.
Layla unexpectedly stays the night at my house.
We got high, ate chocolate, drank Mello Yello while snuggled up in t-shirts and our underwear on the bed. Watched TV.
Starbucks was the start of a great, normal married day….ran errands, hung out, exercised, got take out. Watched one of our mutual fave movies for the 100th time. No sex. Intimacy everywhere. Held hands. Sat close. Actual conversation. Jokes.
Nice fucking day.
Relationships are hard work, and can be terrifying. Now that I’m having the sex I crave, I see sex wasn’t the only thing missing from my relationship with T. Intimacy is the next bucket to fill. A much bigger bucket (and scarier). I noticed it this week. I reached out to T several times and she did not respond in kind. This is not new. We’ve fought about this many times. She checks out. Lost in either her work or her passion for animal sanctuaries.
What’s new is my perspective. Previously, I assumed it was part of our sex life. Now I know that is not true. Sex and intimacy are two completely different compartments. They can be related, but don’t confuse timing with causation. In either direction.
Up until that morning, I was gradually having more and more success finding girls I clicked with. However, each of them was missing something. Some lacked passion, some didn’t know how to operate a calendar or clock, some had seedy incall locations, some had strange rules, on and on…Each was missing something.
Fantastic Friday session with one of favorite providers. My first escort crush: a girl named Summer. Smart, funny, sexy, spinner, great kisser, passionate, head for business, and we have some chemistry.
The conversation flows between us easily. However, she always brings me back on topic with kissing and roaming hands. Professional. I talk too much. She keeps me on track for why we are there.
We’ve been seeing each other for months. Each time, we get to know each other a little better. Consequently the next session is even better.
Summer is schooling me on several things…
T walked in on me in the shower unexpectedly. Not that this is unusual. We’re normally very casual and open. Her eyes went straight to my crotch. I could see it on her face. Why the fuck is he manscaped? We haven’t seen each other naked in three months because we’ve both been on the road….
Small touches from an escort can go a long way with me.
I’ve been seeing her for months, Melissa is one of my ATFs. She doesn’t post or have a website. Appointments are booked by text. We meet at an apartment she keeps across town. It’s upstairs on the back of an old building.
Mad. Bad. Sad.
A concept from family social dynamics. Early in my career I was a counselor. Abused kids and runaways. Many skills I use today, I learned on that job. The basic premise is that one person in the relationship gets mad at the other, but doesn’t want to confront the issue head on. Instead they do something bad to annoy them. Inevitably there is a fight. Afterwards, there is remorse, sadness. Everyone apologizes and feels better.
I am home after more than a month of travelling