T received an unexpected job offer. It is for a position out of the country which would last 6 months or a year. A dream job for her. There is some risk, but worth the effort.
Timing is everything.
She passed up a similar opportunity like this last year. Which I feel guilty about. We would have had to move to a remote location. We had several rationalizations at the time…her dad is sick, we had just bought a house, I was starting a new job, etc.
All good reasons. However, deep down, I didn’t want to move.
She was on the fence. I could have pushed her to take it. Make it work. But I didn’t. I left her to decide. Frustrated with her indecision.
Her mom piled on the guilt. She turned it down. She has regretted it ever since.
Now she has another chance at a different place. Similar opportunity, only a little better. She is afraid to take it. This time I am pushing.
“This is what I am talking about. We both want different things now. Is that so bad? Go do what YOU want to do, and let me go do the same.
We can still be friends and support each other. Just in a different way. ”
She is adamant that she wants to work through our difficulties. Since our talk Saturday, I am even more ready to move on.
It is only now that I am leaving, that I have her attention.
If she takes this new job, and we stay married, we will return full circle to this point a few years from now.
I was very angry at my first wife when she left me. Now I understand how difficult that was for her to do.