My marriage has been on my mind a lot lately. T and I are giving it the summer. Talking through our issues and making adjustments to see the outcome. We are not fighting. Progress has been made on some long festering topics like intimacy, sex, & attention. Hitting rock bottom has allowed us to openly discuss things that we’ve both been afraid of. I’m off work for a long weekend and have had two good days in a row so far. One day with escorts and one day with T.
Which life do I want? Should I build a compromise of both?
Looking back, I absolutely preferred the escort day. However, the wife day is something I feel I need.
I enjoy both lives. The escort side is exciting and fun, but not realistically sustainable every day. The married side, may sound a little dull but it is very grounding.
Here is the run down on both days…
Morning – I met Melissa at her Secret Apartment.
She recently got her yoga studio launched and I thought she was stepping back from escorting. A text to hook up came from her two weeks ago while I was travelling. She has never done that before. I was out of town, so no dice. Friday we finally got together. She doesn’t need the cash, but wants the sex. She is a single mom and doesn’t want to deal with dating.
The sex is intense and satisfying. We both get into it. There is chemistry between us rooted in sexual attraction. Also we have things in common: The beach, music, humor, music, sexual preferences, etc. In the course of seeing each other over many sessions, we’ve opened up about our private lives a little. Details that you wouldn’t expect to be exchanged between escort and client. Families, relationships, daily life trials and tribulations, etc. We’ve come to know each other a great deal in some areas, but only a little in others. We’ve never seen or talked to each other outside this apartment.
I get three things out of my sessions with her: Intimacy, confidence and acceptance. The intimacy is both physical and emotional. We talk, touch and devour. The confidence is built from her making me feel like I am a good looking guy and a good lover. This comes verbally in the form of compliments, and also non-verbally in her responsiveness to me in bed. The acceptance is unconditional (except for the fee of course), nothing to prove or earn. I show up, we have a great time. No hurdles to overcome or hoops to jump through. I leave feeling great.
Early Afternoon – I met Karmen at her hotel.
I had really only planned on Melissa Friday, but was still in the mood after lunch. Karmen was available, and I had no plans the rest of the day. This is the third time we’ve seen each other in 7 days. I have only known her a week. She is new to escorting in general and tells me she only started little under two weeks ago. We are developing a little chemistry. Unexplainable after three naked-only dates, but we are comfortable with one another. She greets me in the hallway of the hotel: “Happy pre-Birthday.” Sly smile, takes me by the hand. Leads me to her room.
We’ve discovered a few things in common. We both love the beach, BBQ and Nina Simone. She has a head for business. We talk about her escorting experience so far. She asks me for tips about ads and hotels. She has a sense of humor and has some great ‘escort starting out stories’.
Once inside, we undress.
“Let me tell you, it is sooo nice to see you. I’ve seen some weird dudes in the last couple days.”
I get the same three things from Karmen that I get from Melissa, but in different combination. She gives me more compliments, but she does not come across as hungry for sex when I walk in the door. It feels more FWB. Matter-of-factly, she gets naked and pulls me down into the bed. Lays her body up against me, with her head on my shoulder and we talk for a few minutes. She strokes my chest with her hand. However, once we start kissing and I work my way down her body, she really gets into it. So do I. Later, we find slow rhythm and arrive together. Afterwards, she is surprised that she can have good sex while escorting. Not sure how true this is, but it boosts my ego hugely.
Intimacy with her also manifests itself differently. We can be quiet together and totally relaxed.
As we lay there recuperating, curled up together, Karmen gives a big yawn. “I could fall asleep right now. I’ve been stressed for days, and now I’m finally relaxed.”
I am on my back. She is curled up on my side again. Head on my shoulder, a hand on my chest. Her knee is over my thigh, and her breasts are pressed up against me. My arm is wrapped around her with my hand stroking her back mindlessly. She dozes off and starts to softly snore. I lay there a minute. Totally relaxed. Listening to her breathe. Completely peaceful. I drift off to sleep.
We start awake a little later to the sound of maids in the hall.
Eyes meet. Giggle. We start kissing lazily. Then things heat up again…. Rinse. Repeat. Several times. WOW.
I leave on trembling thighs.
I spend my birthday with T. Our plan is to cookout on our patio and see a movie.
Morning – We have coffee together on the patio. By 10 am she goes inside to watch TV. “Sorry baby, it’s too hot out here.” I finish my morning blog post, then go inside to see if she wants to go out for breakfast. She has already eaten, so I hop in the car to hit the drive thru. We watch TV for an hour or so when I get back.
Lunch – We head to a trendy beer place in our neighborhood. Sit on the patio, which she knows is my preference. They don’t have any burgers on the menu, and also don’t have any beers she likes. I pick the beer on special, and order bratwurst sliders. Nice manly substitute. She gets a club sandwich and a coke. Her sandwich is not good. It is hot as hell, and I can tell she is uncomfortable. I feel like an ass for making her sit in the heat. We finish up lunch quickly and head home.
Afternoon – Next, we decide on a nap. We strip down to our underwear, crank down the AC and hit the bed. We lay on our sides facing each other in the bed. It is a king, but we are both close to the center. We fall asleep holding hands. It is a perfect afternoon nap. One of our cats is curled up with us. We are both snoring in no time. I wake up an hour later, open a beer and sit on the patio listening to music. She gets up a little later, tries to sit outside, but gave up over the heat. It is 92F/33C right now. She goes in to watch TV, while I stay outside watching the grill. The steaks turn out well. We eat on the coffee table in the living room.
Afterwards we go to a show. My birthday, so I choose Jurassic World. If it was her birthday, we’d be seeing Magic Mike. LOL.
As I am drifting off to sleep at the end of the evening, we are lying in bed facing each other holding hands again. This small touch is an ultimate piece of intimacy built over 20 years between us. Only our hands are touching, but we are fully connected.
Intimacy, confidence and acceptance wax and wane between us all day. There are subtle undercurrents of anxiety. Each of us worried about pleasing the other. Each of us having unspoken expectations. Overall, I consider it a good day. Most of our days are like this.
I preferred the escort day, but needed the wife day also.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? – The Clash