Sushi and a Dead Guy

Crystal has been texting since last week to see me again. No real dialogue, more like scheduling an appointment.  We went out to dinner last night. The date was awkward and the after dinner sex was not any better than last time.

Things are clunky from the start.  The restaurant parking lot is taped off by the police working an accident. There is a dead guy in the road in front of the restaurant.  Greeeaaaat….Traffic is gridlocked. We are stuck. Can’t go anywhere else. Nothing within walking distance.

The restaurant is deserted. The accident has crushed their business for the night. We get seated, but the waitresses forget about us because they are all watching the accident cleanup.   We are the only customers. Finally the manager collars one of them and gets our orders started.

We are trying to make ‘not dead guy in the road’ conversation. Awkward.  We can’t get a topic going beyond four sentences.  I’d be hard pressed to recall a date where the conversation was this slow.  Mind you, I make my living by talking.  I can start a conversation with a tree.  I think the longest thread was “how did you get your dog?” This produced a 5 minute story which began with her ex stealing her last Doberman, and ended with the dog being put down.

The conversation continues to languish…’her Ex’, ‘dead end job’, ‘no school’, ‘broke’, and ‘her car needs work.’

All this girl has going for her at this point are her looks, she seems like a nice person, and I am gong to get laid. We have very little in common to talk about.  She looks great in jeans.

She has a very high end set of fake boobs but this is a turn off for me….even though she has the best boob job I’ve ever had my hands on. I will take saggy and mismatched every time over perky personal flotation devices.

We fumble through the meal. She doesn’t eat sushi, but loves this place because of a special chicken teriyaki roll, which she orders Meg Ryan style.  I want to start drinking heavily at this point, but limit myself to one light beer.

She mentions that she loves all things asian as she mangles her roll with chopsticks held upside down.

After dinner, we go back to her place. Just as I’m starting to feel bad about how broke this girl is, she breaks out a $100 bag of weed.  Priorities in life. LOL.

We get a little high in her back yard.  The dog is hilarious. Chasing bugs through the grass. Bats are swirling overhead as the sun is setting.  We sit there a moment. Pass the pipe back and forth.   This is the highlight of the night. My common sense says “GO HOME.”

I don’t listen.

The rationalizations start.  I’m horny, and now too high to drive.

She is determined to get her allowance.

This is where I prefer escorting over sugaring.  With an escort, you are paying for a service.  With sugaring the expectation of the service is here, but there is also a pretense of more.  We strip down and have some lets-get-this-over-with mechanical sex. Afterwards, I’m still too high to drive. We hang out an hour watching HBO, then finally I get out of there.

I start thinking of how to break it off during my drive home…something you never have to worry about with escorts.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. VegasSparkle says:

    Ugh I can feel the boredom 😒
    Just tell her you don’t think it’s working out and sugaring isn’t really for you (or something along those lines).
    Just from your posts on her I can feel it’s a dud and will only cause more awkward situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. uehobbyist says:

      thanks for comment. It’s good advice. I need to bite the bullet. She kept insisting on two things 1)that we honor our arrangement and I keep my word. Which I have done 100%. 2)that she is not an escort and this is not escorting, which I think she is deluding herself about. This is not even up to the level of escorting. I have several escorts that are less transactional, and can hold their own over a dinner conversation. LOL.
      “sugaring is not working out”…I like that approach. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. VegasSparkle says:

        She obviously doesn’t know the difference of sugar and escort 😒

        Liked by 1 person

  2. TheBloggingSD says:

    I struggle over these ‘break up’ conversations all the time. Its needed though. Look you can tell a white lie when this is happening. I don’t think you need to be as up front as “sugaring ain’t for you”.

    Approach 1: Hey I thought about it, and I don’t think we have the chemistry. That is something important to me. This ain’t going to work out.

    Approach 2: I’m taking a big project on, won’t be able to do our agreement. Don’t like keeping people hanging. I think its best we end this now.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. uehobbyist says:

      Ok. I’ll call her.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. TheBloggingSD says:

    Also yeah, bummer that this one didn’t work out! But chemistry is as important as looks. And if there is no click and its as brutal as it sounds in your post, then yikes, let her go!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Walter Mitty says:

    The bats were a foreshadowing. The only thing worse would have been vultures.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. uehobbyist says:

      ok yeah that is a pretty good point.

      Like

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