A long term marriage is a living thing.
T and I are coexisting peacefully. Progress continues in some areas. Old problems continue to hang on for dear life. I managed to cobble together a nice weekend for myself.
Kicked it off with with Paula, Got to know Stacy better, and was still able to spend quality time with T.
I’m on a flight to Detroit as i write this. T has a job interview this afternoon. It is the final interview for the project I mentioned a few posts ago. It is a boutique firm. Their project is mired in an area that is her specialty to fix. I am confident the interview today is to finalize money and hire her. She drove me to the airport this morning. During the ride she listed at least half a dozen rationalizations to not take the job.
“If they don’t pay me at least X rate, I’m not taking it.” “If they are approaching the problem from XYZ approach, they are idiots and I don’t want to work for them.” On and on.
I’m quiet and offer supportive suggestions. She is queen of the NO sometimes. She drives like a bat out of hell, but takes no risks in her professional life.
Normally, I would be pushing her at this point. However, this time I am tired of talking her into jobs. She knows she needs one. The rate she is prepared to refuse will pay her more in 6 months than I will make all year. I keep my mouth shut on that topic. It will only lead to a fight.
This job will be her decision. I’m hanging back. The ride is otherwise uneventful.
All in all I had a nice weekend. I had a great session with Paula on Friday night. During our post-date wrap up, Paula gave me a big thumbs up. She liked my take charge approach. Her tip for next week: “You can feel free to get a little rough with me next time. I like to be spanked. A LOT.”
Saturday, T and I went for coffee to a hip new place in our neighborhood. Hipsters, coffee and 80’s music. She gigged me because I ordered food and she wanted to get Thai instead. Even though she hadn’t mentioned going anywhere else or eating anything else despite me asking her half a dozen times in the 15 minutes before we got there.
Here I am ordering a bowl of grits, cheese and eggs. The barista guy is jamming to Flock of Seagulls, and suddenly T says in her icy tone, which I know all too well: “I guess were not going to consider what I want for lunch, huh?”
WTF? Quoi? We go from cute fun morning to her throwing half a dozen jabs at me out of nowhere. I swear all I did was order coffee and some breakfast at 11:30. I actually held back ordering while she reviewed the menu for 5 minutes and decided she wanted nothing. “I’m not hungry yet.”
The ‘me’ of two years ago would have crumbled to please her. Apologized. I should have noticed that she pointedly ordered nothing. I should have divined that her favorite Thai place is across the street and taken her over there for lunch. Even though we have eaten there twice already in the past 7 days. Forget what I want. Right?
However, I didn’t respond. No sniping back. No apologies either. I just sat her down in an easy chair and changed the subject. “Don’t you just love this furniture?” Smile.
We recovered quickly. But it was a reminder. I sat there quietly thinking about my weekend in Chicago with Charlotte this spring. That moment in Starbucks when, for the first time in 20 years, the woman I was with put her hand on my arm and just enjoyed the moment. Recognized that I like coffee shops. Understood that moment in the morning where I like some music, coffee, small talk and a bite to eat.
That night T and I watched football on the couch. She is a huge college football fan. We went to the same school, and our team won big. I’m not a sports guy at heart, but have to admit we had a fun time. We held hands and ate popcorn.
Sunday, I snuck out to meet Stacy for coffee early in the morning. No sex, just some early conversation and a bowl of oatmeal. Very, very very nice, and NO drama.
Sunday evening, T and I went to see The Intern. Well done film. I highly recommend it. The movie and dinner finished our weekend on a high note.
I sleep in the spare room across the house nowadays. Right at bedtime, T came back unexpectedly to ask me something. I had been texting with Stacy and she glanced at the unlocked phone on the bed. She couldn’t read the screen. Too far away, and not wearing her glasses. However, I saw some dots connecting behind her eyes. I don’t text anyone at 11 pm. I offered no explanation. Answered her query and wished her goodnight.
Hopefully, she won’t talk this guy out of hiring her.
I am glad for the week away. Scarlet and I are going to meet up for a few hours one night this week. We are still planning on our “no talking” session. I am eagerly looking forward to that one.