One Weekend at a Time

A long term marriage is a living thing.

T and I are coexisting peacefully. Progress continues in some areas. Old problems continue to hang on for dear life. I managed to cobble together a nice weekend for myself.

Kicked it off with with Paula, Got to know Stacy better, and was still able to spend quality time with T.

I’m on a flight to Detroit as i write this. T has a job interview this afternoon. It is the final interview for the project I mentioned a few posts ago.  It is a boutique firm. Their project is mired in an area that is her specialty to fix.  I am confident the interview today is to finalize money and hire her.  She drove me to the airport this morning. During the ride she listed at least half a dozen rationalizations to not take the job.

“If they don’t pay me at least X rate, I’m not taking it.” “If they are approaching the problem from XYZ approach, they are idiots and I don’t want to work for them.”  On and on.

I’m quiet and offer supportive suggestions. She is queen of the NO sometimes.  She drives like a bat out of hell, but takes no risks in her professional life.

Normally, I would be pushing her at this point.  However, this time I am tired of talking her into jobs.  She knows she needs one.  The rate she is prepared to refuse will pay her more in 6 months than I will make all year. I keep my mouth shut on that topic.  It will only lead to a fight.

This job will be her decision. I’m hanging back. The ride is otherwise uneventful.

All in all I had a nice weekend.  I had a great session with Paula on Friday night.   During our post-date wrap up, Paula gave me a big thumbs up. She liked my take charge approach. Her tip for next week:  “You can feel free to get a little rough with me next time.  I like to be spanked. A LOT.”

Saturday, T and I went for coffee to a hip new place in our neighborhood.  Hipsters, coffee and 80’s music.  She gigged me because I ordered food and she wanted to get Thai instead. Even though she hadn’t mentioned going anywhere else or eating anything else despite me asking her half a dozen times in the 15 minutes before we got there.

Here I am ordering a bowl of grits, cheese and eggs. The barista guy is jamming to Flock of Seagulls, and suddenly T says in her icy tone, which I know all too well: “I guess were not going to consider what I want for lunch, huh?”

WTF? Quoi?  We go from cute fun morning to her throwing half a dozen jabs at me out of nowhere.  I swear all I did was order coffee and some breakfast at 11:30. I actually held back ordering while she reviewed the menu for 5 minutes and decided she wanted nothing. “I’m not hungry yet.”

The ‘me’ of two years ago would have crumbled to please her. Apologized.  I should have noticed that she pointedly ordered nothing.  I should have divined that her favorite Thai place is across the street and taken her over there for lunch. Even though we have eaten there twice already in the past 7 days.  Forget what I want.  Right?

However, I didn’t respond. No sniping back. No apologies either.  I just sat her down in an easy chair and changed the subject.  “Don’t you just love this furniture?” Smile.

We recovered quickly. But it was a reminder.  I sat there quietly thinking about my weekend in Chicago with Charlotte this spring.  That moment in Starbucks when, for the first time in 20 years, the woman I was with put her hand on my arm and just enjoyed the moment. Recognized that I like coffee shops.  Understood that moment in the morning where I like some music, coffee, small talk and a bite to eat.

That night T and I watched football on the couch.  She is a huge college football fan. We went to the same school, and our team won big.  I’m not a sports guy at heart, but have to admit we had a fun time.  We held hands and ate popcorn.

Sunday, I snuck out to meet Stacy for coffee early in the morning.  No sex, just some early conversation and a bowl of oatmeal. Very, very very nice, and NO drama.

Sunday evening, T and I went to see The Intern.   Well done film. I highly recommend it.  The movie and dinner finished our weekend on a high note.

I sleep in the spare room across the house nowadays.  Right at bedtime, T came back unexpectedly to ask me something.  I had been texting with Stacy and she glanced at the unlocked phone on the bed.  She couldn’t read the screen. Too far away, and not wearing her glasses.  However, I saw some dots connecting behind her eyes.  I don’t text anyone at 11 pm. I offered no explanation.  Answered her query and wished her goodnight.

Hopefully, she won’t talk this guy out of hiring her.

I am glad for the week away.  Scarlet and I are going to meet up for a few hours one night this week. We are still planning on our “no talking” session. I am eagerly looking forward to that one.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. VegasSparkle says:

    Before I read the “WTF” part I said it out loud as I was at the stop light lol. SMH…good lord…good luck with that. I’m actually glad you didn’t apologize. Remember what people do usually has nothing to do with you, it’s a reflection of themselves.
    Awkward moment on her walking in and the phone going off lol. But again, good for you for standing your ground. Have a good trip in Detroit!


    1. uehobbyist says:

      Thanks Vegas. Compared to a lot of people with real problems this type of stuff is trivial. I’m just trying to convey that after being married so long, old habits of zinging each other die hard. Appreciate the support!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. VegasSparkle says:

        lol, I understand.


  2. R. Patience says:

    Spanked A LOT. You have yourself quite a woman there. She would certainly be fun to handle. I would love to push her limits. Enjoy!


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