The Truth About Stacy

The next chapter begins.

Stacy and I have been extremely close since the fall.  I care about her. She is important to me.  I am concerned that we have differing definitions of love.

For me, love takes years to grow.  Involves success and failure. Shared hardship and triumph.

For her it is trust, surrender, caring outside of oneself, and has no time constraint.

Perhaps it is both.

When I met T 20 years ago, she was seeing someone else and I was less than a year divorced.  She wanted to move more quickly in the relationship than I.  She had this analogy that I kept myself in a boat anchored near the shore.  I was hesitant to let her in the boat, and kept her at arms length a long time.

I see this pattern repeating with Stacy.  I am wiser now, so can be open about exactly how I feel.  Stacy asked what I want once I am free.

I want to be single and to live alone in my house.

I want her to be my girlfriend, and that we spend the night together at either her place or mine one or two nights a week.

I want to be alone in my own place at least one or two nights a week.

I want to continue to explore our physical relationship.  Control. Surrender. Abandonment. Acceptance. Trust.

I want to live in the moment and not get onto a railroad track of “where is our relationship going?”

We’ve talked about my hobby here, and what will happen with that.  I am not sure I want to give it up.  She has not asked me to.

When I am around her, I don’t feel the need to see anyone else.  There is probably a lot going on in my psyche around all of that.

Time for work soon. There is a lot more to this train of thought.  So will be back later….

UE

 

4 Comments Add yours

  1. TheBloggingSD says:

    Is Stacy no longer an active reader of your blog? That was the first comment that popped to mind.

    I can totally see what you’re looking for – and makes sense for you given your history (Coming out of a marriage)

    I think you should totally open up your relationship – you need to go to the other extreme right now – play the field, find what you’re looking for (if that is or isn’t Stacy) and that will at least help you make the right decision – both for you and her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. uehobbyist says:

      Well there is a lot of writing to do about that topic. I’m getting back into the swing of it. Let me say this for now. Stacy is part of my life and I am glad for that. How we define our relationship going forward is something we have agreed to work on. Open or not, etc…I have been in one serious relationship after another since 1982 (not a typo). I think I need to slow it down and learn to live with myself this time before committing to anyone else. However, I also think that my recent 3x a week hobbying is about more than just sex. Sooo…yes she is around, no she is not reading the blog presently. More to come.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. fallingboss says:

    I’m curious to hear where this leads with her.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s